Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Legalese

Booking with Lastminute.com they insisted that I read reams of terms and conditions. One such page is quoted below and I suspect that many people wouldn't bother to read this gibberish. Trying as hard as I can I find it impenetrable. If it was translated into simpler English, I think it would read "When you give us your money, even if by some extraordinary effort you do manage to make a valid refund claim, we will hang onto £100". And what is a "compy"?
##AM_XML BETWEEN UNITED KINGDOM AND THE UNITED STATES CHANGES BEFORE DEPARTURE CHARGE GBP 100.00. CHILD/INFANT DISCOUNTS APPLY. NOTE - A CHANGE IS A ROUTING / DATE / FLIGHT MODIFICATION WHEN MORE THAN ONE FARE COMPONENT IS BEING CHANGED THE HIGHEST PENALTY OF ALL CHANGED FARE COMPONENTS WILL APPLY //// // BEFORE OUTBOUND DEPARTURE // //// NEW RESERVATION AND REISSUANCE MUST BE MADE AT THE SAME TIME PRIOR TO DEPARTURE OF THE ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED FLIGHT. IF CHANGE DOES NOT OCCUR ON THE FIRST FARE COMPONENT OF THE JOURNEY NEW FARE WILL BE RECALCULATED USING FARES IN EFFECT ON THE PREVIOUS TICKETING DATE AND UNDER FOLLOWING CONDITIONS - IF SAME BOOKING CLASS IS USED NEW FARE MAY BE LOWER OR EQUAL OR HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS AND A / MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE ORIGINALLY TICKETED FARE B / OR MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE NEW FARE BEING APPLIED - IF A DIFFERENT BOOKING CLASS IS USED NEW FARE MAY BE EQUAL OR HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS AND A / MUST COMPY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE NEW FARE BEING APPLIED ----------------------- NEW RESERVATION AND REISSUANCE MUST BE MADE AT THE SAME TIME PRIOR TO DEPARTURE OF THE ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED FLIGHT. WHEN CHANGE OCCURS ON THE FIRST FARE COMPONENT OF THE JOURNEY ONLY OR ON THE FIRST FARE COMPONENT AND OTHER FARE COMPONENT OF THE JOURNEY NEW FARE WILL BE RECALCULATED USING FARES IN EFFECT ON DATE OF REISSUE AND UNDER FOLLOWING CONDITIONS - IF SAME BOOKING CLASS IS USED NEW FARE MAY BE LOWER OR EQUAL OR HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS AND A / MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE ORIGINALLY TICKETED FARE B / OR MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE NEW FARE BEING APPLIED - IF A DIFFERENT BOOKING CLASS IS USED NEW FARE MAY BE EQUAL OR HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS AND A / MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE NEW FARE BEING APPLIED CHANGES NOT PERMITTED IN CASE OF NO-SHOW. NOTE - // BEFORE OUTBOUND DEPARTURE // // NO SHOW // IN THE EVENT OF NO SHOW - WHEN CHANGES ARE REQUESTED AFTER DEPARTURE OF THE ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED FLIGHT - CHANGES ARE NOT PERMITTED AND CANCELLATION RULES SHALL APPLY AFTER DEPARTURE CHARGE GBP 100.00. CHILD/INFANT DISCOUNTS APPLY. NOTE - ///// // AFTER OUTBOUND DEPARTURE // //// NEW FARE WILL BE RECALCULATED USING FARES IN EFFECT ON THE PREVIOUS TICKETING DATE AND UNDER FOLLOWING CONDITIONS - IF SAME BOOKING CLASS IS USED NEW FARE MAY BE LOWER OR EQUAL OR HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS AND A / MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE ORIGINALLY TICKETED FARE B / OR MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE NEW FARE BEING APPLIED - IF A DIFFERENT BOOKING CLASS IS USED NEW FARE MAY BE EQUAL OR HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS AND A / MUST COMPLY WITH ALL PROVISIONS OF THE NEW FARE BEING APPLIED CANCELLATIONS ANY TIME TICKET IS NON-REFUNDABLE IN CASE OF CANCEL. TICKET IS NON-REFUNDABLE IN CASE OF NO-SHOW. NOTE - ANY TIME CANCELLATIONS RULES APPLY BY FARE COMPONENT WHEN COMBINING A REFUNDABLE TICKET WITH A NON REFUNDABLE TICKET PROVISIONS WILL APPLY AS FOLLOWS - THE AMOUNT PAID ON THE REFUNDABLE FARE COMPONENT WILL BE REFUNDED UPON PAYMENT OF THE PENALTY AMOUNT IF APPLICABLE - THE AMOUNT PAID ON THE NON REFUNDABLE FARE COMPONENT WILL NOT BE REFUNDED - THE AMOUNT PAID ON THE NON REFUNDABLE FARE COMPONENT WILL NOT BE REFUNDED

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